Eatingdisorder, Model Ingen kommer nog aldrig förstå hur ont det gör att skriva detta, hur jobbigt det varit, men jag är glad att jag är här jag är idag. december 10, 2015 Left photo, 2012. This is like TWO years after my lowest weight at the hospital.. At this point people thought I was healthy.. I did not understand what healthy and freedom meant. I could not relax for a single second. I worked as a model. I was depressed and I ran really much. But AFTER my first and most horrible MODEL trip to Tokyo lifting weights. After a couple months I gained weight and I could finally relized what Ive done to my mind and body all this years. I started reading fitness and helath blogs, and started to take care of my body and build it to something else than skinny. I felt strong for the first tine ever. I also got the question, do you want to model? Well yes.. but after that memory in Tokyo, and after I felt what beeing strong felt like.. I had to say no. Because they made me to chose which one I want to do. Because now suddenly I was too big? I understood Ill never be perfect or good enough. Never will everyone like me. And when I got to chose between feeling happy or looking skinny and being a depressed model, the choice was easy but still ofc hard because I did not want to dissapoint others. Nearly all my friends and family (exept my sister @matildaessen) told me to continue. They told me that lifting weights I can later.. start again after a couple of years.. But this oppoturnity will probably never come again, youre young, could get to the old shape and you have all your life infront of you. That is true.But seriously. Did I want to go back to the war that been in my head for three years, did I want to work and please others every single day and to not be able to eat. Did I want to get back to the anxiety, depression, sadness, weakness, the part of me that wanted to die? Did I? No. I could not explain to anyone because nobody or no agency had made me feel bad. It was me, myself that was not ready for that. It was me and my body. A war inside my head. Anorexia and the depression was now gone, but It felt like a single step backwards and It was back. So I chose ME. I chose to be happy.To kick ana far away and never come back. Now a days I only chose fun jobs and jobs I can feel good,healthy and confident. Now I can be ME.❤️#svagtillstark Kuva, jonka FROM WEAK TO STRONG?? (@svagtillstark) julkaisi 10. 12ta 2015 klo 0.54 PST Dela detta:Dela Klicka för att dela till Pinterest (Öppnas i ett nytt fönster) Pinterest Klicka för att dela på Facebook (Öppnas i ett nytt fönster) Facebook Klicka för att dela på X (Öppnas i ett nytt fönster) X Klicka för att dela på Tumblr (Öppnas i ett nytt fönster) Tumblr Klicka för att e-posta en länk till en vän (Öppnas i ett nytt fönster) E-post Gilla detta:Gilla Laddar in … Relaterade SvagtillStark Recovered from anorexia and depression, from Weak to Strong. Föregående Lucka 9 - Visa kärlek Nyare Lucka 10 - Find something you are good at - and be proud Du kanske också gillar Vem är DU? augusti 28, 2018 Lämna ett svar Avbryt svarDin e-postadress kommer inte publiceras. Obligatoriska fält är märkta *Namn E-postadress Webbplats Kommentar Meddela mig om nya kommentarer via e-post. För närvarande har du JavaScript inaktiverat. För att kunna kommentera, vänligen se till att JavaScript och cookies är aktiverade och ladda sedan om sidan. Klicka här för instruktioner om hur du aktiverar JavaScript i din webbläsare. Δ Denna webbplats använder Akismet för att minska skräppost. Lär dig om hur din kommentarsdata bearbetas.
